My thighs are not Republican or Democrat. My thighs are fiercely Independent. Yes, my thighs have always done what they wanted--no matter what I wished they would do.

My thighs are, how you would say it--not firm, kinda dimply in places, and when I was heavier--they formed two shelves that jutted out from my narrow hips (not to be mistaken with my butt--that has never been narrow). It's probably better to describe what my thighs are not: lean and long, toned and tan, pretty or lovely. These words do not come to mind when humbly describing my thighs.

No matter how much weight I've lost over the years, even at my skinniest weight, my thighs, though smaller, remained the same shape. No matter how many of those machines I exercised them on, or miracle shrinking creams that I slathered on them, my thighs remained steadfast in their determination to be themselves.

The Thigh’s the Limit

My thighs were the bane of my existence. I remember in second grade staring down at my wide thighs, hanging over the side of the chair. All of the skinny cute girls with the toned thighs and short skirts fit in their chairs!

I dreaded summer because that meant time to expose my thighs! Yikes! My husband would buy me shorts and I would hide them in drawers. "Honey, why are you wearing black pants? We're going to the beach?" he would ask, knowing that I would inevitably answer , "Because I want everyone to have a good time!"

But I love my thighs now, which to me, is a miracle. Not because they have changed; they look the same as they always have. However, I have changed the way my mind thinks about them. I deleted the old "thunder thighs" track in my head.

Coming Home to My Thighs

As I shifted and lost weight and got real about who I truly was, I saw that, in order for me to maintain my weight, I had to own my thighs.  Otherwise, the illusion that if I lost 5 more pounds and that would fix my thighs would always exist. The hope that losing a few more pounds would change them would lead to disappointment, frustration, stress eating weight gain etc.

More importantly, I realized that my thighs were a part of me, and if I was learning to love myself, that meant all of me, including and especially my thighs.

So let me share with you my journey to connect, love, own and worship my thighs hoping that if you have a similar body-part issue that this may prove the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Shift Body Part Exercise

1)  Observe what the language is that you use about the body part you are going to change your relationship with-even the feelings that come up when you see them in the mirror.

Example:"My thighs" language: thunder thighs, fat, ugly, pudgy, unflattering, and disgusting.

My Thigh Feelings: Not fair, I'm cursed, unlovable, unattractive-repugnant to others.

2)  You want to replace the painful word with a neutral word. This is a cognitive behavioral technique. When a painful habitual thought pattern begins to come up the idea is to break the pattern in the mind with a neutral thought pattern.

Example: I am moving in the direction of accepting my thighs-my thighs are so (instead of fat and ugly) -- patriotic, parliamentary, official! 

You may do this for a while. It seems funny but it goes a long way to breaking up the painful, hateful energy. However, do not use praise words like beautiful, pretty or gorgeous. Your mind will read these as false, and reject them

3)  Next in the process is to move into some nicer words. Again, words you can own, that don’t throw the mind into “no they are not beautiful! They are ugly!”  It is also nice if you can touch that body part in a loving way when you see it or think of it.

Example: "Nice thighs" thoughts: womanly, smooth, substantial, sassy, pioneering, primitive!

”I am moving in the directing of loving my thighs. They are pioneering and strong and have brought me to where I am in life today.  My thighs are loyal to me and I shall be loyal to them!”

Soon, I was looking at my thighs in a new way and the weight literally fell off! Not from my thighs, but from my heart, and what a gift that was. Give yourself the gift of changing the way you think about a body part you dislike and keep the love story with yourself going strong!

See you at the beach!

ox Rita